


Halcyon

by choppyVy



Series: Sexy, I want to do everything with you [2]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Confusion, Fluff and Tons of Feelings, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Parabatai Bond, Parabatai Feels, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, not at all what I thought I would write next for this series
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-24
Updated: 2017-05-24
Packaged: 2018-11-04 06:52:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,574
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10985667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/choppyVy/pseuds/choppyVy
Summary: Alec and Magnus are trying to get some time alone at Magnus's loft but fate won't let them, and an encounter with Jace brings up some complicated emotions. Alec looks to Magnus to help him clear his mind, looking for that feeling again he had felt having sex with Magnus for the first time, nothing had seemed complicated then.





	Halcyon

**Author's Note:**

> So, yes, a second installment for the series, I really had not expected to write this, it was intended to be WAY WAY WAAAYYY more smutty. Future installments will be for sure. I blame a certain someone for getting me thinking waaayyy too deeply about Alec and Jace. I have no other excuses for how this happened. You know who you are. Thank you.

They end up making out on Magnus’s couch twice over the next week, wishing both to turn it into more but the universe does not appear to be on their side. The first time is interrupted by Magnus’s phone which won’t stop, just won’t stop ringing. The second time is much more up close and in person.  
Sitting there, wrapped up in each other, physically and mentally, lips gliding over each other hands roaming freely, just about ready to shed the first layer of clothing, Alec, hand wandering under Magnus’s shirt, freezes when he hears a throat cleared next to them. He knows this voice, its owner by this sound alone. ‘No, no no no no no.’  
“Jace, what can we do for you,” Magnus asks cooly. While Alec does not dare look over, not prepared buries his face against Magnus’s neck.  
“Izzy needs us to come to The Institute, something’s up.”  
‘Something is up here, too, or ... was’ Alec thinks but does not say it.  
“Honey?” Magnus asks a bit worried now by Alec’s continued silence.  
“I’ll …,” his voice breaks on the sound, he clears his throat, “I’ll be right behind you. Jace.”  
“Okay, um, should I stick around?”  
And Magnus admires not for the first time how clueless his boyfriend’s parabatai can sometimes be when it comes to Alec, despite their bond. “Give me a chance to say good night. I will send him through a portal. He’ll be there before you know it.”  
“Alright, then see you … in a bit.”  
“Yeah, be right there,” Alec says looking right at Jace now, trying to read the expression he finds on his face but really clueless about what has found.  
Jace gives him a curt nod and walks out of the apartment.  
Magnus does not know what to feel when he feels Alec’s whole body slump against his, a heavy sigh leaving Alec’s lips.  
“What just happened?” Magnus asks, he has his suspicions, but he has learned over the course of a long life that he should not assume anything about anyone if he has the chance to actually talk to them about whatever the issue.  
“You know.”  
“No, Alec, only you do. Care to share?”  
Alec lets out that sigh again, not making any move to distance himself from Magnus, but not allowing him in either.  
So they sit, just stay sitting until Alec says, “I should go.”  
Magnus placing a kiss to Alec’s hair murmurs, “He loves you. He wants you to be happy. He told me so himself. He told me he could sense it through your bond, that right now at least I make you happy, well, happier,” Magnus’s smile turns sad, but Alec’s eyes rest still closed, so there is no one there to see it.  
Alec swallows heavily, “You do … make me happy.”  
“I’m glad,” is all Magnus responds.  
Alec says it again, but does not move a single inch, “I really should go.”  
Magnus does not want to let Alec leave like this. “Why do you feel like that with me around him?”  
“Like what?” Alec tries to deflect. He does not need a rune for that, he has plenty of practice in keeping it all locked away.  
But Magnus does not go for it, “The way you do.”  
Alec finally does lift his gaze, meets eyes he is stunned to find unglamoured now. He knows this is Magnus telling him that he is here, all in, if Alec only would let him.  
“Sad.”  
“Sorry?” it is not the word Magnus had expected Alec to choose.  
“I know it is absurd,” Alec adds, “him seeing us together making me sad. I guess it just reminds me off all those … moments that I found myself looking at him, longing so bad for him to look back at me the way you actually do. And now, ... half the time I don't know how to read his face anymore at all.”  
“What can I do?” Magnus asks surprised.  
Alec lets out a soft breath, resting his forehead against Magnus’s and cupping one of his cheeks, a smile forming on his lips, “Nothing. Me neither. I love him, I love you. It is … complicated, confusing, absurd really. Not the love, everything that comes with it. I mean how can he being here make me feel guilty and sad … about … for … he is so unhappy.”  
“He would not want you to suffer with him.”  
“We are parabatai. I don’t know what else I possibly could do. I am changing, with you. We used to be in pain together … before…, well, you. Now everything is shifting … and … and it makes me so unsure,” and with these words Alec is clinging on to his boyfriend again. “It’s so infuriating. How can I separate what I feel for you from what I feel for him and be me with both of you still? I ... I feel ... you are both part of me.”  
Magnus just holds on, for now just lets Alec know “I won’t run away from this, we will figure it out. You don’t have to choose, a part of you will always be with him, I know that.”  
"I feel myself with you, I need you to know that," Alec grasps for clarity before Magnus finds tearstained lips tearing at his in the next second, himself pushed back into the pillows on the couch, and all he can do is hold on and kiss back.  
And no one wills it to reappear but heat sparks between them again.  
As the kiss breaks Alec rolls his hips and Magnus just moans, quickly followed by a “Fuck. This is a rollercoaster.”  
“Tell me about it,” Alec pants. Izzy and Jace and The Institute pushed to the back of his mind Alec is desperate for the clarity of emotion that being alone with Magnus can bring, brought him the last … their first time. It feels like being submerged in the pool of a bright, warming light with Magnus’s even warmer presence washing over him, crashing over him in waves.  
Alec rolls his hips against Magnus, and Magnus can feel … knows instantly that Alec is chasing some calm of mind. He has never seen him look so serene as Alec had on his sheets a week ago.  
Alec whimpers as he feels Magnus reach between them, he finds Magnus’s lips again as Magnus’s fingers deftly push the fabric aside and curl around Alec’s already throbbing hard cock.  
“Fuck. Fuck!” Alec curses as Magnus begins to pump him. Alec does not know if moments or minutes pass of them just looking into each other’s eyes, Magnus’s hand continuously working him, pushing him further and further towards that sweet breaking point of pleasure. With a sudden rush of feelings Alec can feel his whole body quiver, struggles to keep himself propped up on his arms any longer, body hovering enough above Magnus to allow him to keep up the motion of his hand only still growing in its rapidity.  
There is no magic needed, it is a very simple sentence, holding a whole lot of meaning to both men that puts Alec over the edge with the next two pumps of Alec’s cock in Magnus’s hand, “I miss being inside of you.”  
All of Alec’s muscles feel like they are turning to jelly as his cum spurts across Magnus’s deep red silk shirt and he buries his whole body against Magnus’s, as he feels Magnus pump his cock through the aftershocks a whole new kind of pleasure pulsing through him with it, uniquely fulfilling.  
As Magnus finally lets go of Alec’s member, coming out of a kind of haze of his own, after all, the shift in emotion had happened so fast, he cleans his hand with a flick of his wrist, blue magic briefly caressing along its skin, only then he feels how tightly Alec’s arms are wrapped around his shoulders, witnesses how the tremors following Alec’s orgasm are now turning into sobs wrecking his body.  
“Alec? No. Did I …, was it …. I thought,” Magnus tries not to sound it, but is close, very close to dissolving into a panic.  
Alec just clings to his boyfriend tighter, and Magnus can feel the tears spilling from Alec’s eyes running along the skin of his own neck by now.  
“Darling. Honey,” Magnus just pleads, feeling truly helpless. Scared.  
Alec’s voice is a blubber of melted sounds, “You make me feel so good. I am so sick of being sad.”  
Magnus’s lungs expand again from the frozen state they had been held captive in, left arm tightens around Alec’s back, his right hand against the back of Alec’s head, holding him closer still. “Honey. Honey! We will figure it all out.”  
Jace does not call when Alec does not show up to The Institute after all, and Magnus has to think back to the look Jace had had on his face when his and Alec’s eyes had met earlier. Magnus had recognized the mix of guilt and understanding reflected in a closed off seriousness, attempting to be empty. Guilt about all the pain they have to share as parabatai, when Jace knows that Alec on his own has had more than enough pain in his short life, understanding that he has to take this seriously, for Alec’s sake, this relationship Alec and Magnus have, and that Alec deserves to have something, someone that is more important than The Institute. Duty.


End file.
